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electro_cutex
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Name: Sara
Birthday: 5/22/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: YOU!, broadway, christmas, comedy, food, friends, guitars, love, makeup, music, my photobucket, photography, secrets, shows, surprises, taco bell, text messaging, the front row, writing, my boyfriend, chris.<33
Expertise: bhs drumline, baybee.
( it's the only thing i'm good at.<3 )
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
MSN: grimrot6@hotmail.com
ICQ:  278830179
Member Since:
6/16/2005
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| i moved.
http://www.zanguh.com/celebrityface
( edit subscriptions, please.<33 ) | | |
| chris brought this to my attention last night .. & it made me realize. me & chris happened by complete & total accident. if i hadn't accidentally said hi to him, we wouldn't be the ' us ' that we are today. it was my fault that we're together. i meant to say hi to steph, but my contact list was still loading & then i just so happened to click on chris's name & well .. here we are.
i know i just changed the layout on this thing, & it took me so long to figure out how to fix the mistakes the girl who made it had made, & after all that work .. i want to change it. i just want something bright & colorful. oh well. i'm off to find a bright layout.
if anyone knows where any good ones are .. let me know.
love.
♥ | | |
| ( 12 / 07 / 04 means yesterday sucked ass. )
today, the juniors went to the MAC to see their rendition of the nutcracker. it was an alright show, besides the fact they ended it way too early & half of the ballerina's had no idea what they were doing. the cutest thing was the little girls. i want one someday.
then we went to gattiland, where i ate some of the best pizza & cheese sticks i've ever had in my life. their junk food was crap, though. everything was pure dough, no matter how much cinnamon or icing you put on it. i ate so much that i was bloated & i felt awful. i wobbled into the gameroom where everyone was hiding & i found cristin & shannon. we were only in there maybe 5, 10 minutes before they told us we were leaving.
i was excited on the way home because as we were pulling in, cristin said it was 3. wrongo. it was 2, and i still had half of 6th ( geometry ) to get through with, just enough time for us to learn another part of number sequences & to get an assignment.
yesterday, i didn't have to eat that gross lunchroom food. cristin left to go to the doctor, but then came back with 2 pizza ( pepperoni ! ) rolls - one for me & one for her ! awh, i love my wifey ! & last night, chris took me to taco bell. isn't he lovely ? =) i ordered my usual number 7 & almost couldn't eat it because i'd eaten arby's about an hour prior ..
oh yeah ! sunday, my bestest friends ( derek, jerry, daniel, chad, josh & maybe shannon ) are coming up to my house at like .. 8 in the morning to practice, since they haven't practiced in forever. i've got an empty basement with a pile of drums in the center, & its pretty lonely ..
wow. saturday will make one year since kenny's death. i miss him so much .. and come to think of it, everything has went completely chaotic since he's been gone. i guess he just had his ways of lightening up things around this place. we just didn't expect him to be gone so soon .. he was so happy. so free. i honestly can't tell you a single soul that didn't like him. i miss you, kenny .. | | |
| .. even when i'm at school & i sneak & call chris on my cell phone, we still argue. about the same damn thing, which i thought was going to be taken care of as of early sunday morning. this whole entire thing would be washed out the window & we could start anew. i guess i was wrong. i asked him to promise me something .. which his reply was, ' well .. i don't think i can promise you anything .. ' so now, since it wasn't taken care of, our problems will always be for eternity. or however long it is we're together, because honestly, i'm almost at my wit's end & i'm fed up.
i'm sick of him letting girls just run up to him & dangle off of him. whenever he sees them, he actually acts like he's happy to see them & hugs them & all that jazz. whenever i run up to him & hug him .. ? i get no hug in return. i just get a, ' hey .. ' does anyone else see anything wrong with that picture ? i feel as if he gives his girly friends 10 times more the attention that he gives me. i feel as if he's much happier around them & would rather have them than me.
me & nick were just talking about our gradschool days, and how i used to get picked on alot & i used to go home crying. i think thats why today i won't take people's shit no ways. if any of the 3 girls that used to pick on me ( savannah m., savannah c., & kashinna c. ) the most were to come up to me & apologise, they could take their measly apology & stick it straight up their ass. they gave me total hell, & i'll never forget it. i wouldn't be afraid to get up in their face now, and tell them, ' look at me now .. ! ' there's girls that are dying to be me & trying to be me way too much. there's guys that would do nearly anything to be with me. much more than i'd be able to say for them ..
i have act's this saturday & i'm scared. i've never taken them before, and i'm not even sure why i'm taking them now, because all i want to do is go to beauty school. i guess i'm taking them just in case i change my mind & i prefer to go to a university or something. but my main dream is to style hair .. & do makeup. everyone ( like tabby & her stupid little friends ) knows how good i am at doing that =)
i'm going to try to make it to jeff's party this saturday at the b.c.c., too. i hear robbie's going to be there .. =) i miss him so much. i've worried so much about him & i've prayed really hard for him. i love that kid .. he always had some of the best advice for me & he was always so entertaining & so fun to be around. i can't wait to see him.<33 | | |
| i'm so sick of being confused. i'm so sick of comparing, so sick of crying because i think too hard. i hate it how you love someone .. yet you love someone else, too. i hate having feelings. i wish they were little nerve strings in my body that i could just cut & not feel anything anymore, except just having all of my senses. i want no emotions. i think i could handle walking around emotionless all the time.
but i wonder if i did, would my eyes dry up because of not crying ? would my stomach muscles get all lose from not laughing ? what would my life be like if i didn't feel any emotions whatsoever. i'd live the rest of my life alone, because i'd love no one. maybe just my kitty & my doggie, but no one else. i'd have no children .. because i wouldn't be able to love them the ways they should be loved.
i'm just too nice to people. i care too much about other people's feelings, especially if i love them & they have a special place in my heart. i just don't understand why my life has to be filled with such drama .. & so much of it.
i'm sick as a dog. leave me be.
</3
&edit;;
i just found out that the day i put all that crap on tabby's locker, i did make her cry. just hearing those worse sent me into this shock of happiness & i nearly threw a happy tantrum. ask derek. | | |
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